I’ve been sitting here the past few hours going over the last year trying to get my Yuletide plans in order as is my tradition. That lead me to reading over my defunct family blog and all of the many posts I had made last year, one for each day in Advent. There are so many things we did. So many fun things, so many hopes for the future, such big dreams for what was to come.
From there it was a short jump to February. Shit this year has been one helluva chain of days. Samhain closes out one turn through the wheel of the year, but it’s all flooding back. Each step and all those things that have changed. 2010 was the last great year and shit just about sums up 2011.
I’m counting down the days to the solstice, to the end of the year, and the end of a contract. So much uncertainty lurks around the corner. My American Dream was supposed to come true, but I was served the proverbial foreclosure notice. There is no good way forward and swinging back through January, February, and March seems like more than I can handle. Can I pause the year here?
I think the only thing I can count on is regardless of what happens, who betrayed us along the way, or the things we’ve let go, home really is wherever I’m with you. Next time we get married, let’s do it in the middle of a forest on the autumn equinox. Just you and me, the officiant, the kids, and the leaves. Maybe a few special guests, but skip the grouchy sister, the crappy groomsman, and all the rules. Do over?