Under the Maple Canopy

Singing Union Songs Since 2009

Dear Papa John’s Pizza:

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I received your email about the free pizza today and for a brief second I considered ordering a pizza tonight.  After all, I promised my son we could have pizza for dinner.  My good mood lasted for all of thirty seconds when I remembered what your CEO, John Schnatter had to say about the PPACA.  So, how about this, you keep the free pizza and maybe then you can choose not to cut employee hours?  Who knows, maybe then your employees will be able to get health care when they’re sick?  This is what I call a win-win since the idea of someone making pizza with an undiagnosed illness doesn’t exactly say “buy one tonight!”

For the record, we bought our last Papa John’s Pizza last month.  We’ll drive to Ian’s in Madison instead.  It’s about time we leveled the playing field so that corporations such as yours can stop externalizing costs you should have been covering all along.  That way you might actually have to pay the true costs of doing business and a small business owner gets my money.  Hey!  That’s another win-win!

Sincerely,

This is what happens when you play politics, own a business, and are on the wrong side of history.  Better luck next time?

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This the actual text of an email I just sent to Papa John’s after I got their “Congratulations!  You are a winner in Papa John’s Two Million Pizza Giveaway” email.  I suspect it’s an attempt on their part to repair the damage done to their brand.  Schnatter’s claiming that he was sorely misunderstood.  I read about Schnatter’s statement on Fox News (that’s a rarity!) and it seemed pretty clear to me.

Schnatter’s had said that it’s going to cost them $0.14 a pizza to comply with the law.  I think the last time we ordered a pizza from them it was something like $11 so that should take care of the $0.14 for 78 pizzas.  Win-wins all around!

Edited to add:  Ian’s is actually a really cheap way to find the family because, let’s face it, it’s never just a large pizza at Papa Johns and the total is usually north of $20.  Guess what?  With my punch card, I can still fill up Groceries (the 7yo), the girls, the husband, and spend about the same.  Plus, you can’t get Mac and Cheese Pizza at Papa Johns.  The “I heart Ian’s” sticker on Groceries’ bedroom door is no joke.

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